Most married people will confess to this. Sometimes you look at your spouse and ask yourself (silently of course) ‘how did I get here? how did I end up with this man or woman?’ Sometimes my wife verbalises this jokingly and I am always swift to let her know that the joke is on her. She made the choice, she entered the box. Haha!!
But all jokes aside, I have never been more aware about the devices against marriage than at this stage in my life and marriage. I don’t know if am just noticing things because am growing older or things are generally changing.
And so I find myself meditating often about marriage and what can be done to make it better. How can young couples position their marriage for success? I think about what those in it can do to improve the quality of their marriage and what those yet to enter can do, to have a better head start. I have come up with a few observations below.
I am always quick to remind everyone that am not Continue reading
Does one year of marriage make you wise? Yes it does but it’s not the conventional wisdom, it is the wisdom that leaves you more reflective and silent than assertive and confident. It’s the kind of wisdom that makes you more tolerant with your views about marriage; makes you less judgemental of other couples. The ‘aha’ moments kind of wisdom, where you begin to see your parents in you in the way you handle issues, how you react, and you realize the apple might have fallen nearer to the tree than you thought.
In one year you learn things, about yourself, about your spouse but most importantly you learn that there is nothing ordinary about two people living together in harmony, peace and love. It is beyond ordinary, Continue reading
‘What did you do?’ She asked in passing as she went into the bedroom. I couldn’t respond because my boxed mind just wasn’t connecting. I continued washing the dishes wondering what that was all about and then it hit me. I couldn’t help but just laugh. My wife was actually shocked at seeing me wash the dishes and to her the only logical explanation was that I was making up for something I had done wrong. I think I had not done anything wrong, as much as I know, but you just never know what a lady is thinking. You could have forgotten a promise you made or answered a wrong question right or bought the wrong spices, cumin seeds instead of cinnamon, who even knows what these are.
A man can be confused. Yes, the disruption continues….
This happened at about 3 months of our marriage and Continue reading
I go to weddings these days and see a little more than the pomp and colour. I look at the bride and groom and wonder what is going on in their minds. Apart from the smiles they have to put up for their guests, what other feelings and thoughts run in the back of their minds. Are they relieved the planning process is finally coming to end and now they can just be together or are they worried because the process has brought up issues they haven’t had time to deal with? Did family issues come up Continue reading